Topics


Life Style
Relationships
wk S M T W T F S
09
26
27
28
01
02
03
04
10
05
06
07
08
09
10
11
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
12
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
13
26
27
28
29
30
31
01

RSS feed for the Blog Get Blog as RSS feed

  Login

ADVERTISEMENT

Fred's Blog

My Head And My Heart

How many of us have struggled between these two mighty forces? How many have succumbed to one only to be pulled in another direction by the other?

As imperfect creatures, we strive for perfection, for clarity, direction and peace, yet all too often we realize how monumental the task is to carve out a course that is sure and true. We are complex. We have many different, and often conflicting, desires, needs and wishes. We struggle to make correct decisions, especially at this stage of life, that will increase our likelihood of happiness and safeguard us from harm.

I have seen individuals who were resolute about the kind of person they wanted, yet, when someone magically captured their attention, they often threw out their list of requirements, sometimes even disregarding warning signs that this person might not be for them. I’ve seen others who were so decimated by past emotional failures and hurts, that they refused to let someone get too close to them. They kept every possible relationship prospect at arm’s length. They were unwilling to risk being hurt again, regardless of the possible rewards.  Others still, as a means of self protection, set impossible targets to reach. And then others, a little burned, twice shy, but still positive about the future, have learned from their mistakes, and started making better decisions. They are more pragmatic now about what they know will work. And, they shun or avoid people more quickly who they know won’t be good for them, irrespective how outwardly attractive they might be.

As we approach the advent of a new year, won’t many of us question our past attitudes and beliefs, especially as they relate to our experiences over the last year? Won’t we wonder whether our ways of looking at things, our reactions, and our responses were appropriate….whether they served us well? So often, what was right, or at least what seemed to be right at one point in life, is totally inadequate to satisfy our current needs.

It seems to me that the old question whether to listen to our heart or our head is rather silly. At this stage of life, we must consider both. No one can totally count on one or the other to guide them now. Consider them counterbalances……without both we might easily stumble and fall. The head is there to protect us, to make sure we don’t rashly, foolishly and emotionally plunge into a relationship without thoroughly and completely examining the facts. The heart is there to help us appreciate the novel, wondrous person who has just come into our life. We need to take both in consideration, or we increase the risk of either a failed relationship or a life replete with isolation, solitude and loneliness.

Like a pendulum swinging in both directions, we often fight internal battles to help point us in the right direction. Rarely can friends or family help us. It is our own, personal mission to bear, and only we as individuals can make the choice (s) that are necessary.

So, I challenge you next year to focus on what you want. If an intimate personal relationship is foremost to you, don’t let anything or anyone get in your way. Stay in the moment. Let your experiences guide you. Trust your instincts. Let your heart steer you in the right direction, and your head confirm that this is where you should be. Best of luck and happiness to everyone!
 

|  Posted on: 2011-12-06 01:36:53  |  0 Comments  

Login to post comment  |  Become a Member
 
Comments
No comment have been posted.
Home  |  News for L.A. Singles  |  Blog  |  Contact LA Singles Society