FRED'S BLOG

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Posted: 2012-03-26 03:30:44

Looking back, have you ever given much thought to your dating experiences?

It’s interesting how the passage of time…a lot of time….gives one a perspective that one would never grasp at the time of their experiences. Hopefully, distance, time, a bit of maturity, introspection and honesty serves us well. If we are fortunate, we have learned truths that will help guide us properly in all of our future social endeavors.

I try very hard these days to be clear with myself. Fortunately, I’ve developed my self-image over the years to a point where I don’t feel the need to impress someone, or follow someone else’s lead, or take another’s direction. As well-meaning as friends and family are, they just can’t walk in my shoes. I’m responsible for my own happiness. Quaint as the saying goes, “I AM the captain of my own ship.”

This leads me to try very hard to assess my current needs and wishes accurately, and to imagine what they might even be over the next 10-20 years. Now, I have had friends who have been married before; some once, some twice, and some even three times. Some are steadfast in their desire to find a new mate or partner. Some could care less. The latter would rather remain independent, divorced from a committed relationship. So be it. It truly is critical to know yourself and what might work for you going forward.

For me, the choice is clear. I’d rather share the last part of my life with a partner, rather than going the “lone wolf” route. It just seems to be more appealing to me now (some might say that it’s about time). I’ve worked out a lot of issues, and although I’m far from being perfect, I think I’m in the best place that  I have ever been to make a relationship work.

One of the things that I have done to help assess my needs today is to truly look back and think about what they were in the past, and compare them to what I think they have become today. Are they the same? Have I modified my... Read more